My dear friends Kim and Topher had their baby, Calvin, on January 18, 2011. My dear friends Natalie and David had their baby, Caleb, on January 18, 2011. My dear friends Anne and Zach will be having a baby boy soon. My dear friends Lindsi and Scott will be having a baby boy, Jacob Jonathan, any day now. My dear friend Brandie just told me she is 10 weeks pregnant. Jonathan's cousin, Jacob, just had a baby boy and named him Jonathan. I am happy, truly, truly happy for all of them. The hard part is knowing that Jonathan has not and will never meet these babies. I know he sees them- but he will never hold his best friend's baby. He will not get to experience how awesome of parents each of these couples will be.
Alissa and Ryan are getting married and Jonathan won't be there. Won't be in Ryan's wedding- where he should have been. He didn't hold Calvin on Sunday when John and I went to visit Kim and Toph. He didn't get to call and congratulate Kristian on their new pregnancy.
Brandie was in Colorado on Saturday night and I had dinner with her. While that was great, it was difficult. When I am around her, I think of Kristian and I immediately think of Jonathan. I miss the two of them so much. They have some of the biggest hearts I know.
I think back on the last year and there have been so many things that Jonthan was not a part of. While all of these trivial things have been hard, the birth of babies and witnessing your friends become parents, is difficult to experience without the person who was supposed to share in the joy with you. I've been a little emotional lately, but at the same time I'm still so happy and grateful for all the blessings I have been a part of over the last year. God bless my beautiful friends.
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